Common Marriage Problems And How To Deal With Them

Common Marriage Problems And How To Deal With ThemThere are a number of common marriage problems that couples need to be aware of to keep their relationship from falling off the wagon.  There are still people who believe that marriage is an easy stage in their life. These couples believe that their love for each other is more than enough to get them through anything. That may be true and it is a good start but marriage will require more than that for them to keep their marriage alive.

American Psychological Association shares that as much as 50% of married couples in the country divorce. That is a big percentage of married couples and might make marriage a little more scary for couples. This statistic alone can give any couple planning a wedding cold feet. If it is as bad as they say, why go through it?

If people always had this way of thinking, we would all still be cavemen restricted to living in fear inside caves and all joined together in a makeshift fire. However, people ventured out regardless of danger and now we are able to travel by land, sea, air, and even in space. This means that common marriage problems can be addressed and couples can still make it work.

Problems will always be part of life especially when you try to make a marriage work. You are essentially combining two of everything from character to habits and even aspirations and goals. It can be tough living alone let alone with another person. But love plays a crucial role in this bond. Armed with that, here are some of the more common marital problems you need to be aware of.

Infidelity is one of the common marriage problems

Commitment should be a given in any relationship but there are some people who can’t seem to grasp the concept of sticking to one partner. One of the main reason why you want to get married is to spend the rest of your life with that one person you love the most. Marriage is announcing to the whole world that you intend to spend your life with your spouse.

However, when you start to entertain the thought of other people and being with them romantically, that is the start of infidelity. If you begin to act on that thought, you will start to go down a road that will most likely hurt your spouse. Marriage is an everyday commitment and you need to remember that it includes staying true to your partner.

Financial problems

Money and love usually don’t mix well but when you get married, you need to make the two work hand in hand. There are a number of budgeting strategies couples use to avoid one of the most common marriage problems known to people. It is not one of the most romantic topics between two people who are in love but if you want to prolong your relationship, this is an important one to talk about.

There are a number of reasons why finances have a direct correlation with the success of a marriage. For one, you both need it to make a life together. Being in love is the most important aspect of a union but once the bill starts to come in, you have to start looking at your finances. You need to figure out how to maintain your lifestyle

One idea is to sit down and discuss your finances in detail. How much you both are making and what expenses and debt are you bringing into the relationship. This is one of those financial talks you need before getting married. However, doing it early in your union is better than not at all. Once you have those details, you can start creating a budget.

This budget will help you two allocate your income so you get to pay for your expenses, meet your debt obligations, as well as plan for the future. This tool will help you layout your financial game plan and help you both grow as a couple.

Not talking to each other

It might sound a little weird when couples mention they do not talk to each other but it happens. Even if they are not in a fight, there are couples who prefer not talking to each other and this is another one of the most common marriage problems people face. It is not that they just forget about each other, their inability to talk to each other can be caused by a number of things.

For one, you need to factor in the background of your spouse or even yours when it comes to talking and being open with the things around you. It is possible that you or your spouse is not used to talking about things. You might also have unrealistic expectations of each other thinking the other would take care of specific tasks at hand.

The simplest and most direct way to manage this problem is to talk to each other. You do not have to talk about everything at the same time. You just have to start opening up and including your spouse in the conversation. Once they talk, you need to listen in as well. Look at where they are coming from and if there is a problem, start looking for ways to solve them as a couple.

Unrealistic expectations

When you start talking about common marriage problems, expectations have a big hand to play in the matter. One of the first few things you need to do when getting involved with someone especially when marriage is looming is to manage both your expectations. This helps you gauge your relationship in a whole new level.

If you are a guy and your idea of a wife is staying at home and taking care of the house and kids, you need to make sure your wife is on board. They might have career goals that they also want to reach. If you are a woman and you expect your guy to know everything around the house, you might start to get mad when they can’t fix a broken pipe. You need to talk to each other or know each other well enough that you have an idea what each one is bringing to the marriage.

Marriage preparation

You might hear people say that they are not yet prepared to get married because of a number of reasons. They haven’t saved up enough, they are just starting out at work, or even they still have a lot of debt obligations to pay off. Bottomline is that they want everything to be perfect first before settling down. If this is your way of thinking, you might already be nearing retirement and you haven’t gotten married yet.

You can never be fully prepared for marriage. You just have to do what you can and be smart about it. If you don’t have the funds yet for a big wedding, have an intimate one with close family and friends. If getting a house is still not financially viable, look for a place to rent first. Timely payments can also help your credit score making a mortgage loan applications easier in a few year’s time.

Most common marriage problems can set you back and make you think if you are making the right decision life. However, these problems have solutions but you need to work hard for it. It may not be easy but choosing to fight for it and stay in a relationship with the person you love will be worth it.

Money Problems Of A Family Member And How To Help

Money Problems Of A Family Member And How To HelpThere are a lot of money problems people deal with on a regular basis. From sun up to sundown, there are various challenges in life that everyone has to face and this includes financial problems. All the decisions you make, big or small, has a direct effect on how you manage your finances. From that latte in the morning to your choices of lunch and dinner and even how you get to the office and back. All these affects your finances and can result in money problems.

One thing to consider when it comes to financial challenges is as you address your own problems, what would you do if a family member is struggling? It can be your spouse, your parents, children, or even your in-laws. There could be times when cousins, aunts or uncles or even close friends would get into some money problems.

There are a lot of underlying factors for financial problems and understanding these could work wonders for your personal problems. It can also be a good starting point in trying to help out close family members with their money problems. However, it usually does not end there. In fact, dealing with financial problems of people other than you is quite complicated.

To put things into perspective, Bloomberg.com shares that an average household debt stands at about $132,000. This means that people, on the average, are dealing with this amount on their budget. Money problems that would revolve around this debt amount needs are no easy task. As you take on your own money problems, here are a few tips to help family members in dealing with theirs.

Do not turn a blind eye

The worst thing you can do is to ignore your family member who is in need of financial help. There is no question that too much debt can ruin your life and it can do the same to your family members. You never know how it could affect their life and your concern can be the support they are looking for and keeping them sane.

You do not have to automatically hand out money to family members experiencing problems. In fact, that is the last thing you need to look into. A genuine concern is a good starting point. You can simply talk to them to allow them to voice their frustrations out. There are times that being able to talk to someone is all they need to feel better.

Think of your desired outcome

As you decide to help a family member, you need to know what you want to achieve at the end of the day. Doing so can help you formulate a strategy in getting them the help they need. This is similar to how you would approach money problems of your own. If you need to make payments on your card, you focus on it that task by making sure you do not forget to pay the bill.

When you are helping out a family member with their own financial challenges in life, you need to know what you are up against. This gives you an idea of what outcome you want to get out of it. If they seem to be in debt because they have a lot of impulse purchases on their card, then they need to realize this behavior. This can be as simple as talking to them about it and making them realize where the problem lies.

They can also be stressed out with retirement issues. This is more prevalent with older family members such as parents and even grandparents. You can help them go over their retirement plan and try to identify where the stress is coming from. It can be from not having enough in their nest egg or uncertainty with their investment choices. If you are qualified, then help them make better decisions. If not then read on.

Seek common ground to solve money problems

There would be times that money problems would be complicated even for you. This is the perfect opportunity to consider the services of professionals. There are financial experts in various fields that you can talk to when trying to figure a way out of money problems for a family member. You might think that it is just a waste of money but their expertise transcends financial needs.

As Time.com puts it, financial planners work beyond numbers, well at least the ones that are really good at their jobs. This is because they also factor in the emotional well-being of their clients. Their expertise gives them enough foresight to manage how their clients would feel with their financial decisions. The goal is to keep them happy with future financial security.

Here is a quick video to give you an overview of some of the things financial planners need to know to help you out:

Let them make decisions

At the end of the day, these money problems are theirs and they need to make the decisions themselves. Of course, this is different when you are talking about older people starting to lose control of their mental faculties. This scenario requires forward planning and a lot of documentation so the desires of your family member are carried out.

Give non-cash gift

This is one thing you need to remember because as irrational as it might sound, money will not solve all their problems. In line with this, you should not always think that giving them money will solve their predicament in life. To a certain extent, it might even cause them more harm than good. You can consider helping out with non-cash items such as food or even looking out after their kids while they look for work.

Offer a cash gift and not a loan

There are instances when they really need some extra funds to hurdle over a financial trouble. In these instances, try to consider giving them a cash gift rather than agreeing to a loan. More than anything, this will help you manage your personal relationship with that family member. This also lowers your stress level because you do not have to keep thinking about their repayment.

See if you can provide employment

One of the ideas you can look into when a family member is dealing with money problems is to infuse funds into their budget by making them work for it. If you need some tasks around the house done and they have the skills to do it then let them work on it. You can also consider getting them to have extra hands as you cross out some items in your to-do list at home.

This is a win-win situation for the both of you. As you accomplish tasks you need done at home, you also get to help out family members with their money problems. For them, it is also a good way to earn money because they worked hard for it and did not just rely on asking people for money.

Money problems will always be a part of life and as you deal with your own set of challenges, it should not stop you from helping family members out with their own problems. There are ways to lend a hand without compromising your family’s own financial needs. At the end of the day, it is important to take care of the family as well and not just focus on your own problems.

3 Simple Moves That Can Lead To Financial Troubles

Young couple depressed about financial problemsAs you try to manage and get a good hold of your finances, there will come a time that you might come across some financial troubles and you have no idea where they came from. You try your very best to manage your finances but at times financial problems in the family still catches you off-guard. You then start to question if you are doing the right things to get your finances in order.

It is pretty terrifying and at times confusing to get the exact opposite of the results you are anticipating and the scary part of it is that at time you do not have an idea why it happened. You try your best to manage your finances the best way you know how but still multiple problems come your way. For some, this is a little too much and they start to go down in a spiral of debt.

USAToday.com shares that American consumers are experiencing different types of financial troubles from trying to make ends meet to preventing debt and for some, how to enjoy their money. These problems could be caused by a lot of bad decisions made along the way but do you know that they can be caused by seemingly small decisions?

Take for example a person who has decided to live a healthy lifestyle and take up a gym membership to be able to exercise their body. But everyday they still do not change their eating habits and seems to favor their sweet tooth after every meal.  Eating cakes and pastries and ice cream to satisfy their cravings. They might seem to be small decisions but it affects their long term goal of keeping a healthy body.

Common financial mistakes

As you go and try to manage your finances, it might benefit you to know some of the seemingly harmless practices you make that affect your money management. Here are some of the things that hurts your finances without you knowing.

  • Prioritising use of debit card over your credit card. Statisticbrain.com   says that there are about 10% of consumers who have fallen victims to credit card fraud. This might fuel their desire to use their own money and pay with their debit card. There are a lot of discussions on what is best to use and the there is no hard and fast rule for each of them. With that being said, sticking to your debit card might not always be to your benefit. If you regularly use your debit card to pump gas or when paying for hotel rooms, you might notice that there are inconsistencies in the amount that you paid and the amount that you can use from your account. This is because some establishments like a pump station and hotels puts a hold on some of your funds as safety. Your room might be $100 a night and you booked for three nights so that totals $300 right? But the hotel might put a hold on $200 for incidentals. They do not actually get the money and it is still in your account it’s just that you cannot use it until they clear it. That makes balancing checks a lot harder.
  • Aggressively paying down your mortgage loan. There is nothing wrong with wanting to pay down your debt accounts aggressively in fact it is ideal. But as you do that, you cannot just look at the biggest amount and focus on that because there is a big chance that your mortgage loan would be on top of the list. You need to look at the interest rates as well because chances are your mortgage loan would have the lowest one among all of them. Your credit cards would have the biggest rate and it would make sense to be aggressive with that payment rather than with your mortgage loan. Also, it might be better to pay minimum on your house and funnel extra funds into your retirement so you can take advantage of compound interest.
  • Making emotionally-charged financial decisions. You need to be objective when you make decisions especially when it comes to your money. Financial troubles sometime stem from making decisions while you are high on your emotions. Anger, fear and even love can have serious effects on the way you manage your finances. You might think that your neighbour is being arrogant with buying a new car and your anger makes you buy a new truck just to spite off your neighbour. You might feel afraid with how the stock market is dipping and you sell your stocks at a lost and miss out on long-term gains. Falling in love might also make you spend more money just to be able to travel and give gifts without regard to your future needs.

Trying to make good money decisions

It is human nature to try and want to improve on things even with the way you handle money. Here are a few things you might want to consider when trying to improve and guard your finances.

  • Keep in mind your long term goals. One of the things businesses do is to evolve with their market but they always keep their vision in mind. You can apply that with your own financial management. CNBC.com shares how millennial are having a tough time realising their vision and long-term goals because of lack in confidence and even knowledge in investing. You need to evolve and adapt to changes and even the tools that you would need to prepare yourself against financial troubles. But always keep in mind your long term goals as you go about learning and adjustments in your finances.
  • Always make financial decisions as a couple. If you are married or in a serious relationship, you need to make financial decisions as a couple to prevent exposing your partner to risk. If you have joint accounts and you are planning to make a big purchase anytime soon, sit down and talk about it with your partner. Having an open line of communication with your spouse will prevent money problems from ruining your marriage.
  • Consider the advice of mentors. There will always be a first for everything and managing your money and trying to keep out financial troubles will be one of them. One thing you might want to do is talk to people and mentors that you look up to to get valuable pieces of advice on how to properly manage your money. You can even go as far as hiring a financial manager to stay on track with your long-term goals. Just be sure to be a part of all the money decisions because the last thing you need is to be duped out of your hard-earned cash.
  • Research on your own. If there are things that you do not understand, do not let those stop you from pursuing your goals. With the advent of technology, it is easy to conduct research and understand financial terms that are alien to you.

Financial troubles will be part of life and if you cannot prevent them from happening, you need to arm yourself with the necessary tools to help you get out of it. Whatever financial problems you might encounter, you need to remember that it will not be forever and you need to work on a solution that will get you out of it faster.

5 Acts That Will Keep Money Problems From Ruining Your Marriage

couple arguingThere are many things that could turn your life into a living nightmare and money problems is usually one of them. Thanks to the consumerist society that we all live in today, money has become a necessary tool for all of us.

In fact, it is powerful enough to affect how we live our lives and the relationships that we can keep. One of the most prominent relationships that finances can destroy is our marriage. Actually, it can destroy all kinds of relationships – married or not. We are putting married couples in the spotlight because it is a relationship that is bound by the law. Ending a marriage is not as easy as packing up your bags and leaving. It involves a legal process that can oftentimes turn quite ugly.

Since money problems is one of the leading reasons why married couples argue, we want to help in making sure that it will not ruin yours.

Money remains to be one of the leading cause of arguments in marriages

The National Center for Health Statistics, through CDC.gov revealed that in 2011, there was a reported 877,00 divorces and annulments in the country. That is more than ⅓ of the marriages that happened in the same year (2.1 million). While there may be many reasons why these marriages failed, you have to understand that a lot of them is something that you can control. Meaning, if you act fast enough, you can keep that problem from destroying your marriage.

DivorceSource.com cited a study done by Jeffrey Dew that tells us that those who fight about money early into the relationship is most likely to get divorced. The study done in 2009 at the Utah State University mentioned how couples that have financial disagreements once a week are 30% more likely to file for divorce. At least, they are more prone to do so compared to those who only fight about money a few times every month. While it does not specifically point out that it is the main reason for the separation, it is a great indicator of a fail marriage. The more you fight about money problems, the bigger the rift will be between you and your spouse.

5 ways to keep your financial discussions from becoming a fight

There are many facts about divorce that can harm you financially and it is more than a necessity for you to try and work things out before you let it ruin your family. It is not all that difficult for you to do this but it takes a lot less pride and understanding to accomplish. According to a  divorce infographic from InsuranceQuuotes.com, the number one cause of divorce is lack of communication. That mostly includes inability to communicate feelings, thoughts, plans and most of all, money problems.

It is true that it can be difficult to talk about money because there is a high chance that you can end up fighting about it. But if you practice these 5 acts, it might not break you regardless of how sensitive the topic is.

  • Listen first. Even if the problem is not something that you did, it pays to listen to your spouse first before you try to judge them. There is always two sides in every story. We always want to air out our thoughts immediately but sometimes, that is how things get worse. You may want to keep your mouth shut so you can listen to what the other has to say. Then you can make sure that the thoughts you wanted to air out can help in resolving the matter at hand. That is how you try to understand and approach the subject with an open mind.

  • Breathe before you speak. After listening, you can air out your thoughts but make sure you take a deep breath first – especially when you are feeling a negative emotion quite strongly. You need to calm yourself because speaking when you are angry is never a good thing. And more than calming yourself, you want to really dissect what your spouse is trying to say to you.

  • Speak your mind. In some cases, only one person does the talking because the other fears that it might lead to a fight. This is not how you solve money problems in a marriage. You need to say what you think is right and if you have to disagree just make sure that you phrase it nicely. Do not let the other dominate the financial decisions because that is oftentimes how financial abuse begins – when the other is always keeping silent. Be involved and trust that your opinion should matter when it comes to household financial issues.

  • Ask so you can clarify. Misunderstanding is a common cause of hurt in a marriage. So if there is something that you do not understand, make sure to ask. Sometimes, when the explanation is there, the problem that you thought you had was not so bad after all.

  • Learn how to compromise. Lastly, you want to be ready to compromise. Some marriages happen between a spender and a saver. You may think that the difference will definitely end up in fights but that is where you are wrong. There is nothing like a healthy dose of compromise that can help you settle differences. This is what communication will help you arrive at. You should learn how you can satisfy both of your personalities so you can live together more harmoniously.

Why is money such a sensitive factor in marriages?

There are many ways that money problems like lack of income or credit card debt can destroy you.

While it is important for you to keep it from ruining your marriage, it is also a good idea to try and understand why it can have such an effect in your life. Here are some of the reasons why we think that problematic finances can be a threat to your marriage.

  • Money is needed for your basic needs. If you do not have the ability to buy what you need, it can cause you a lot of stress. Too much stress can sometimes spill over to the people living with you. Since you are closest to your spouse, that stress will spill on them and sometimes, tensions rise. That is usually how some financial fights begin.

  • Lack of money can affect your self esteem. Our consumerist society believe that money is the measurement of your success. That means a lack of money can seriously affect your confidence level. A lot of times, those with a low self confidence are emotional and easily hurt. Even if their spouse means well, they will think of it as an insult aimed at them.

  • It brings out the differences in your lifestyle choices. This is usually true for couples who have different financial personalities. A different spending style will lead to varying choices about life in general and unless you can compromise, that can drive you apart.

  • A wrong financial move can break your trust. There is a thing called financial infidelity that can ruin the trust between spouses. Make sure you learn how to communicate. That way, you won’t have to betrayed all the time.

The bottom line here is that your money problems does not have to ruin your marriage if you know how to handle it. People make mistakes and it is important for you to learn how to work as a team when it comes to financial matters at home. For some people, financial problems tend to bring them closer and develop stronger ties. Make sure that this is how you deal with your own money struggles at home.