Common Marriage Problems And How To Deal With Them

Common Marriage Problems And How To Deal With ThemThere are a number of common marriage problems that couples need to be aware of to keep their relationship from falling off the wagon.  There are still people who believe that marriage is an easy stage in their life. These couples believe that their love for each other is more than enough to get them through anything. That may be true and it is a good start but marriage will require more than that for them to keep their marriage alive.

American Psychological Association shares that as much as 50% of married couples in the country divorce. That is a big percentage of married couples and might make marriage a little more scary for couples. This statistic alone can give any couple planning a wedding cold feet. If it is as bad as they say, why go through it?

If people always had this way of thinking, we would all still be cavemen restricted to living in fear inside caves and all joined together in a makeshift fire. However, people ventured out regardless of danger and now we are able to travel by land, sea, air, and even in space. This means that common marriage problems can be addressed and couples can still make it work.

Problems will always be part of life especially when you try to make a marriage work. You are essentially combining two of everything from character to habits and even aspirations and goals. It can be tough living alone let alone with another person. But love plays a crucial role in this bond. Armed with that, here are some of the more common marital problems you need to be aware of.

Infidelity is one of the common marriage problems

Commitment should be a given in any relationship but there are some people who can’t seem to grasp the concept of sticking to one partner. One of the main reason why you want to get married is to spend the rest of your life with that one person you love the most. Marriage is announcing to the whole world that you intend to spend your life with your spouse.

However, when you start to entertain the thought of other people and being with them romantically, that is the start of infidelity. If you begin to act on that thought, you will start to go down a road that will most likely hurt your spouse. Marriage is an everyday commitment and you need to remember that it includes staying true to your partner.

Financial problems

Money and love usually don’t mix well but when you get married, you need to make the two work hand in hand. There are a number of budgeting strategies couples use to avoid one of the most common marriage problems known to people. It is not one of the most romantic topics between two people who are in love but if you want to prolong your relationship, this is an important one to talk about.

There are a number of reasons why finances have a direct correlation with the success of a marriage. For one, you both need it to make a life together. Being in love is the most important aspect of a union but once the bill starts to come in, you have to start looking at your finances. You need to figure out how to maintain your lifestyle

One idea is to sit down and discuss your finances in detail. How much you both are making and what expenses and debt are you bringing into the relationship. This is one of those financial talks you need before getting married. However, doing it early in your union is better than not at all. Once you have those details, you can start creating a budget.

This budget will help you two allocate your income so you get to pay for your expenses, meet your debt obligations, as well as plan for the future. This tool will help you layout your financial game plan and help you both grow as a couple.

Not talking to each other

It might sound a little weird when couples mention they do not talk to each other but it happens. Even if they are not in a fight, there are couples who prefer not talking to each other and this is another one of the most common marriage problems people face. It is not that they just forget about each other, their inability to talk to each other can be caused by a number of things.

For one, you need to factor in the background of your spouse or even yours when it comes to talking and being open with the things around you. It is possible that you or your spouse is not used to talking about things. You might also have unrealistic expectations of each other thinking the other would take care of specific tasks at hand.

The simplest and most direct way to manage this problem is to talk to each other. You do not have to talk about everything at the same time. You just have to start opening up and including your spouse in the conversation. Once they talk, you need to listen in as well. Look at where they are coming from and if there is a problem, start looking for ways to solve them as a couple.

Unrealistic expectations

When you start talking about common marriage problems, expectations have a big hand to play in the matter. One of the first few things you need to do when getting involved with someone especially when marriage is looming is to manage both your expectations. This helps you gauge your relationship in a whole new level.

If you are a guy and your idea of a wife is staying at home and taking care of the house and kids, you need to make sure your wife is on board. They might have career goals that they also want to reach. If you are a woman and you expect your guy to know everything around the house, you might start to get mad when they can’t fix a broken pipe. You need to talk to each other or know each other well enough that you have an idea what each one is bringing to the marriage.

Marriage preparation

You might hear people say that they are not yet prepared to get married because of a number of reasons. They haven’t saved up enough, they are just starting out at work, or even they still have a lot of debt obligations to pay off. Bottomline is that they want everything to be perfect first before settling down. If this is your way of thinking, you might already be nearing retirement and you haven’t gotten married yet.

You can never be fully prepared for marriage. You just have to do what you can and be smart about it. If you don’t have the funds yet for a big wedding, have an intimate one with close family and friends. If getting a house is still not financially viable, look for a place to rent first. Timely payments can also help your credit score making a mortgage loan applications easier in a few year’s time.

Most common marriage problems can set you back and make you think if you are making the right decision life. However, these problems have solutions but you need to work hard for it. It may not be easy but choosing to fight for it and stay in a relationship with the person you love will be worth it.

Credit Score Myths That Can Actually Do More Damage

Credit Score Myths That Can Actually Do More DamageThere are a number of credit score myths that you might have come across with in your pursuit of better financial management. As you get older, personal finance becomes a lot more complicated and some myths on how you handle your score might come as fact. When this happens, you risk damaging your score and your finances in general.

Once you start blurring the line between myths and fact when it comes to your credit score, problems will start to rear its ugly head. You may not notice it at first and realize it only after you have done the damage to your score. One other possibility is that you will notice that your credit score keeps on dipping but you are unable to pinpoint the reason for it.

These are just some of the reasons why you need to have a clear understanding of these credit score myths. The more you know about them, the better you understand how to discern them. You get to identify the ones that can actually help you from the myths that will further put you down into unmanageable debt.

Here are a few of the myths surrounding credit scores which will only spell trouble for you.

Utility bills are not reported so don’t bother

This is one of those myths that are passed around friends and even in the community. Some may assure you that you do not have to put too much focus on your utility bill payments because they never get reported anyways. If you fall behind, people might even tell you not to worry because it will not affect your credit in any way.

This is one of the credit score myths that you have to be on guard for. Is is because utility bill payments and non-payments can be reported on your score. Some payments are not reported but what you have to remember is what is usually reported. Customers who send in late payments or even accounts that go into the collection are most likely to be reported. This is why you need to make sure that you pay your utility bills on time every time.

Getting married will affect your score

A lot of people might tell you that your credit score will be affected almost immediately once you tie the knot. You might hear people say that marriage will affect your finances. It can combine a lot of things in your life including your credit score. This is untrue because as you get married, your individual scores remain yours and untouched.

There are instances where you might have to apply together as a couple on certain loans. But you cannot just use the higher one for your application. Both of your credit scores will be looked at and considered by lenders. This applies for whatever loan application you have. As you get married, you have to make sure that you still take care of your score individually. This is one of the credit score myths you need to understand.

You should not check your own credit score

It is important to take note that you have to check your own score often. For one, you have to be on top of your finances. More than having a household budget, monitoring your personal credit report is a financial priority. However, people might advise you not to go through with checking your own credit score or report for a number of reasons.

One is that checking your own credit score could entail a big cost on your part. That is true but there are ways to get a copy of your credit report for free. The FCRA gives you the chance to request a free copy of your report once every 12 months. With three major credit reporting bureaus, you can essentially monitor your report every four months.

When it comes to your credit score, you need to understand the difference between a soft and hard pull on your score. One credit score myths you need to be aware of is how a credit pull affects your overall score. A hard pull on your score can negatively affect your score. This is usually done when are applying for a loan and a potential lender wants to see your score. However, if you are checking your own score, you can create a soft pull so your score is not affected.

Do not close any account or your score will go down

You might have heard somewhere that choosing to discontinue accounts will have a negative effect on your score. This has some truth to it but this is not a hard and fast rule. What you need to be concerned about is the history connected to that account. If you are cutting up a credit card and you just started using that card, you don’t have to worry too much about your credit score.

However, if that card you are considering of cutting has been with you for years, you might want to hold off that decision. This is because it has a lot of financial history riding on it. When that goes away, your score can suffer. If you have to let go of accounts, it is best to try and stick to the old ones you have so you can help your score.

A bad credit score will be with you forever

This is one of the credit score myths that can scare you for life but it is actually false. People might tell you that once your score goes down, it will remain there forever. Your score can go down and there will be times when it is not your fault. When your score goes down, there are a lot of ways you can look into to help it go back up.

One is to try and figure out why your credit score is going down. You might want to pull up and check your credit report for any errors you can immediately correct. Another thing you can do is make an effort to make on-time payments if you aren’t sending them out on time. You also need to attend to debt obligations that might already be in collections. Try to look into debt consolidation to help you manage your payments better.

You will not be approved for anything with a bad credit

It is a lot harder to be approved for credit or loan applications with bad credit. However, it does not mean that you will be denied all the time every time. There will be lenders who will still approve provided they are able to put in place some form of measures to ensure they get paid. This is usually in the form of high interest on your loan.

A lot of money will get your credit score up

It is certainly a welcome development when you get the chance to build up your wealth and have more than what you need. However, it is a myth that having a lot of money can help improve your credit score. You can buy a lot of things you want or go on trips and vacations. You can even help out friends and families with their debt problems. Unless you use that money to improve your finances, having a lot of funds will not really help your score.

There are a lot of credit score myths you need to be aware of.  These can guide you when making money decisions. The better you understand them, the easier it would be for you to stay away from habits which will damage your credit.

Financial Talk Before Getting Married And 6 Points To Cover

Financial Talk Before Getting MarriedOne of the things that are most dreaded by couples who are thinking of getting married is the financial talk. It is similar to being called by the principal in the office when you were still in high school. Or it can also be likened to when your boss calls you in for wanting to talk about something important. These talks usually do not end well.

When you are about to get married, there are are a lot of things to consider and focus on. One of these would be your finances. As much as love and compatibility is a major part of your relationship, money will play a crucial role in your marriage. How you handle your finances as a couple can even be a great indicator of how compatible you are with each other.

Having the financial talk prior to tying the knot also helps you prevent common money mistakes couples usually make. Rather than put off important conversations prior to getting married, you both need to make a conscious effort in planning it. Set a date when you are both free and sit down to talk about it. You can even make it fun for the both of you and do it while you are on a vacation.

One of the challenges in having this talk is knowing where to start. If you haven’t done it before, it would really be a challenging and at times, awkward ordeal for the both of you. Trying to ask each other about income, expenses, habits and even long-term plans can be quite scary. But this is something you need to do before you get into a lifetime commitment.

Here are a few things you need to cover when you and your partner decide to do a financial talk before getting married.

Debt level

Valuepenguin.com recently shared that about 38% of households in the country are managing varying degrees of credit card debt. Debt will form a part of your relationship before and after marriage. It just takes different forms and amount. With that being said, there is a big chance that you are bringing debt into your married life.

This is why talking about debt is one of the most crucial steps you need to sit down on before tying the knot. It does not help to know that one of the leading causes of divorce points to financial misunderstanding. You need to find time to talk about what debt you are bringing into the marriage. This gives you the chance to formulate a repayment program based on your income and budget so you can work on it together.

Credit score

Your credit score is something you do not talk about on a first date. However, as your relationship deepens and now that you are preparing to get married, it becomes an important financial factor. Just as lenders use the three digit score to assess your borrowing risk, you can do the same to quickly get an overview of how your significant other has been managing their finances.

This can also help you plan your financial goals better. Take a mortgage loan for example which is a popular option to help a lot of people in buying their own home. Your score will play a crucial role in the approval of your loan as well as the interest rate on it. There are ways to manage and improve on a score but the important thing is you talk about it.

Financial philosophy should be part of your financial talk

There is a big chance that you and your spouse would have a different approach to managing finances. This is because you both come from different backgrounds. From how each of your family managed their own finances to financial role models you looked up to. You can also have different strategies in saving money and varying beliefs on why you do what you do with your funds.

The goal of a financial talk is not to force one belief over the other. Or even to convince the other that one philosophy is better and should be the basis of your finances moving forward. The reason why you are having a financial talk is to try and understand where each of you is coming from. As you do this, you get a better understanding of each other’s financial approach and philosophy. You then are in a good position to look for ways to craft a win-win strategy. You can integrate both of your ways, take the best practices in and create a better approach.

Career goals

Another topic that you have to include in your financial talk would be your individual career goals. The reason for this is that it gives you an idea of each other’s future goals. In a way, it will give you a peek into your potential finances in the future. This is because your future career choices would have a direct hand in deciding your finances.

If you would be able to plot your career path and where you want to be in a few year’s time, it would give you a better idea of how much you would be earning. Not only that, it will also make you understand the time and financial investment you have to put in to get where you want to be in the future.

Children and finances

Marriage usually entails growing a family and children is a big part of this equation. As you prepare to get married, it would be a good idea to start talking about your plans of having children in the future. There are people who want to have children right away for a number of reasons. They might be considering their age, health or even financial status.

Then there are those who wants to postpone having children. Maybe they want to focus on their careers first or even pay up their student loans. You might have the same views with your spouse when it comes to having kids. However, on the off-chance that you don’t it is best to have this talk early on. This is because it forms part of your financial talk as it deals with marital finances. Deciding to have children will affect all areas of your married life including your finances. Be sure to touch on this topic as you prepare for a life of togetherness.

Here is a news report on how cost of childcare has affected families:

Retirement plans

Gallup.com shares that average retirement age in the country is at 62 years old. It’s easy to just take this number and start planning for both of your retirement. However, there are a lot more factors to this number than you think. With this, you have to work back and determine how much you both have to save and at what point do you start saving.

What works best with your retirement fund is when you start as early as possible. In doing so, you have to consider how your spouse would like to plan for this fund. It is important that you are on the same page so you can smoothly execute whatever retirement saving strategy you agree on.

Having a financial talk prior to walking down the aisle and saying your “I dos” can save you a lot of trouble in the long run. Foregoing this conversation can lead to avoidable financial misunderstandings as you navigate through your relationship.

5 Problem Areas With Your Budgeting Skills

5 Problem Areas With Your Budgeting SkillsYour budgeting skills will play an important role in your bid to manage your finances on a daily basis. It is not an easy task to try and balance your household budget especially that there is no one formula that can work for all. This is because there are no two households alike with the same income and expense especially with the way they spend their money.

The debt that you might be in only makes budgeting harder as your obligations increase and your income stays flat. The Federalreserve.gov site shares how household debt went up by about 2.2% during the first three months of 20115. This might be a small percentage but it can already represent a significant amount in your budget.

It is not easy to juggle payments every month and there might even come a time that you feel that you are just working to pay the bills. You then start to question if all your worth is to meet financial obligations in life. And it does not change from student loans in college to credit cards and mortgage loan when you start working to college fund and retirement money when you get older.

If this is how you view your life than you need to step back and understand that you are not held victim by all these payments. You are using them to reach your goal whatever they may be. If your dream is to have your own house then you might want to take out a mortgage loan or if you want your own car then you might have a car loan.

What you need to do is focus on your budgeting skills to help make your monthly expenses workable. If you are able to manage your budget better then you might be able to see where your money goes. If you get to see the progress you are making with the equity of your house or that you are a few more months away from fully paying your car then you see the fruits of your labor.

Making a budget work

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you are having a hard time getting your budget to work. Forbes.com shared that even Congress is having a hard time with their own budget. But that doesn’t mean that you can take it easy and just accept that you cannot make it work. Here are a few things you can look at to help with your budgeting skills,

  • Your budget is too farfetched. When you are making your budget, you need to be as realistic as possible and be true to yourself. This starts with the fact that your sources of income need to be laid out with exact amounts and your expenses should be all accounted for. You need to start with these basics to give you the complete picture. This helps you put together a practical budget and prevents you from bloating your income level or even putting small expenses.
  • You are guessing your budget. You need to take a look at your past expenses to see how much you need to budget for a month. That is one of the most effective ways to manage your finances and plan for succeeding expenses. You can’t just pull a number out of thin air and put those amounts in. Take a look at past numbers and plot out your future expenses. Try to find ways how you can lower them down to be able to save some money at the end of the month.  
  • You need to study your budgets. If you are falling behind on payments and find yourself paying an increasing amount of fees and charges, you might not be reviewing and adjusting your monthly household budget. It is not enough that you have one month to month. If you are having problems making ends meet and you always have to make late payments, look at your budget and see where you can make adjustments. If your bills come ahead of your pay then check how you can move your due date. Check if you have enough money to make one-month advance payment so you don’t send in late payments the next time around.
  • Expenses are too high. This is one of the most common reasons why people start to question their budgeting skills. It is often an overlooked item where a few tweaks can lead to huge savings. There are a lot of ways to lower expenses like taking on a frugal approach to spending. It can be cutting down on expensive meals with friends and instead of having them over your house for dinner. It can also be as simple as monitoring your lights and water at home to lower down your monthly bill. Look at your expenses and if they are ruining your budget.
  • You see your budget as a mere suggestion. The bottom line is that you need to stick to your budget. It will serve no purpose if you put the numbers together but totally disregard it once you start buying and purchasing items. That grocery list will not be much of a use if you just keep it in your pocket and just add to your cart whatever you see and think is lacking at home. There is a big tendency that you might overspend and come home with more brown bags than you have planned and a bigger hole in your finances. Stick to your budget and if you overspend, track it down and make adjustments for next month’s expenses.

Working with your spouse

Your budgeting skills will amount to nothing if you do not find a way to work with your partner or spouse to integrate both of your income and expenses. You cannot live with two budgets under one household because if that is what you both want then it is useless that you are living together. Your teamwork will play a big role in your financial success.

  • Work together to create your budget. Huffingtonpost.com shared in a recent report that one of the most common stress factors in a household are disagreements with your spouse or partner when it comes to financial matters. You need to work with your spouse to collectively look at your income as well as your expenses in relation to your long-term financial goals. Many people who are outside looking in may only consider your income will double. They fail to realize that your expenses will almost double as well.
  • Agree on boundaries. It is a good idea to lay down ground rules early on so you both know how to manage each of your budgeting skills. One example is for you as a couple to agree on an amount where if the item you wish to buy gets to that level, both of you needs to talk about it first. You can also have small allowances each month that you can both use to your discretion. This is a good way to manage your money and keep both of you happy.
  • Have common financial goals. Your financial goals are what will guide you as a couple as you tweak and adjust your budget monthly. Those long-term goals like buying a house or retiring at a certain age will help shape your financial attitude today. Agree on what you both want and work together and save together to reach those goals.

Your budgeting skills might need a little improvement but you need to remember that at the end of the day, it is all about your long-term financial goals. Whatever amount you are saving now will go to either future use or paying off a debt. Those two goes hand in hand as one dictates the actions of the other.